


let us always find each other (in every world, in every story)

by imgoingtocrash



Series: this you, every you, all at once. [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence, F/M, Multiple Universes, Pre-3x09, Ray as the antagonist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4272729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtocrash/pseuds/imgoingtocrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of asking Felicity to work on the ATOM Exosuit, Ray brings Felicity on to help him create a device that allows the user to theoretically travel to parallel universes. When Ray turns the theoretical into reality by stealing one of the prototypes and attempting to find his dead wife at the cost of ruining other universes, Felicity follows him. What begins as an attempt to stop her boss from going places he doesn’t belong turns into a realization that some people will always find a way to be together, no matter what.</p>
<p>A Thousand Pieces of You inspired AU, but no book knowledge is required.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic has been a long time in the making. I think I started after the mid-season 3 finale and have been working on it very slowly between schoolwork since then. This is probably the longest thing I’ve ever written, and I’m very happy to finally be publishing it. I wanted to make sure it was 100% complete because I didn’t trust myself with updates. (Which was a better decision. I had much more time to flesh out my ideas.)
> 
> This fic is inspired by the book A Thousand Pieces of You by Claudia Gray, but you need no knowledge of the book to understand the story. The book is about a girl who’s parents invent a device that travels through parallel universes. Other than the device that travels, it’s basically just a canon divergence for Arrow around episodes 3x07/3x08 but before 3x09.
> 
> The title comes from this poem: http://imgoingtocrash.tumblr.com/post/121120286884/i-hope-that-if-alternate-universes-exist-it

The ATOM.

She breathes in, letting out a content sigh at the masterpieces before her. Well, the prototypes of masterpieces. In theory, the gorgeous little inventions disguised as golden pendants allow all kinds of titillating theoretical discoveries. Take one apart, move some gears and wires around, and you've got the collaborative makings of a device that theoretically jumps universes. And she helped design it. 

She’s proud to be the VP of Applied Sciences, as well as a trusted confidant of the delightfully intelligent Ray Palmer. He's become a good friend to her and a wonderful partner to bounce ideas off of. She loves Team Arrow and all they do, but no one is well-versed in geek speak in the lair, and even if Oliver would usually at least pretend to listen, they're on rocky ground right now.

The kiss between Felicity and Ray was sort of awkward and he’s been avoiding it, but she knows he’s holding something back and she’s kind of been avoiding it herself.

At this moment in particular, however, they're both beaming at these 3 pendants with ridiculously proud looks on their faces. Months of hard work, sleepless nights, and frantic blueprint designs scribbled on extra takeout napkins for _this_.

"So...in theory," Felicity starts, smile unwavering. " _If_ we were to be able to take a trip to another universe, where would you go first?"

Ray's face becomes somber immediately, and her smile turns into a concerned frown. She assumes he’s thinking about the wife he lost. There are personally a lot of worlds out there that probably don’t end with her father leaving, but she’s perfectly happy with this one where she doesn’t need him anyways.

Felicity silences her own thoughts when the barrel of a pistol is aimed, yep, definitely at her face. She wishes she paid more attention to what the names of the weapons in their storage cabinets were because Ray Palmer, CEO of Palmer Technologies, is pointing a unknown gun at her. "Ray, what the—!”

Because of her Arrow activities, she's seen many men handle a gun. She knows that the confident brag, the ignorant keep a loose grip, the scared shiver....Ray isn't in any of these categories. 

His grip is firm, his face is tense, but she doesn't see malice in his eyes. His eyes dart to the ATOMs before he yanks one off the table and tugs it around his neck with one hand.

"You know where I would go. Where I'm about to go. I'm sorry, Felicity. Sorry I didn't tell you the truth. She's out there somewhere, in one of those universes and I'm not going to stop until I have her again. I'll shoot you if you try to stop me, but I know you won't. You're not willing to take the same risks I am to save my wife." Ray backs away from her desk a few steps, and all those nice thoughts about them being friends disappear.

And then he does. She expects a big show; lights flickering, the earth shaking, a bunch of obvious signals that a person has disappeared out of thin air and into another reality. It's a literal blink of her eye, and he's gone, one of the ATOMs along with him.

She's already pressed the panic button on her computer to call in the green-hooded back-up. It won't take long. She can hear her phone vibrating in her purse, awaiting response. But she knows what will happen if she answers. Time will be lost. And who knows what Ray will do ripping through universes on the hunt for his wife while they try and formulate a plan. And what he'll do if he can't find her.

She braces her body on her desk and feels the cold metal chain of an ATOM against her fingers. She takes a deep breath and sees how far out Oliver and Digg are. Minutes. Oh, god. Oliver is going to kill her. His big broody eyes are going to glare her down and ask her how she could rush in without a plan and she'll be without an answer.

She is part of a team. They'll all worry and search for her and there will be no answers until they figure out what the ATOM is.

They're going to be so mad. And worried. But she can't not follow Ray. She knows how the ATOM works. It will find what universe he’s in, and she can stop him before he gets himself or someone else killed out of desperation.

Or, Ray Palmer was dissolved into particles, and the ATOM doesn't work, killing the user. He's nowhere. And by following him, she'll be gone too.

But if all of this work isn't theoretical and if Ray has really succeeded, she's losing his trail and she has a chance to stop him.

They're going to be so upset with her.

 

xx

 

She wakes up at her desk in the Foundry. Except she doesn't remember being asleep. But her head is cradled in her arms on the desk, and she can hear the clanging of a certain exercise equipment above her, so she's pretty certain this is real. 

She shakes her head in an attempt to get rid of the groggy feeling behind her eyelids and looks around. Everything appears to be the same.

She has been working hard, lately. Maybe that was a dream? 

It seemed out of character for Ray, but then she thinks about it and realizes maybe it wasn't. She's not as mad about what he did as she is about him not telling her. They were friends, maybe even something more, but he kept this ultimate plan from her and jolted off into another universe with an "I'm sorry!"

She touches her hand to her neck and feels the ATOM. So it happened. That or she just jumped in physical location and Oliver is working out his anger behind her.

She jolts at the feeling of his hand on her shoulder. 

"Still tired?" He asks, hand sweaty from the salmon ladder against her shoulder. 

"Um..." For once, when she probably needs so many words to explain all that just happened, she's speechless. "yes?"

It comes out like a question, but he takes it and replies "Want me to get lunch to make up for it? I know you quit the coffee for now. Might keep you awake." He's wiping off his sweat with a nearby towel, and while his body is distracting as usual, his face is certainly an oddity. He's smiling. At her. And not like his little significant smiles, but like the full blown "I'm-babbling-asking-you-out" thing that she sometimes has to remember actually happened.

"Are you secretly mad at me or something?" Felicity asks, wary that this is some tactic to ease her into talking about Ray. It's not really Oliver's style, but whatever, maybe Roy helped.

"No...?" Oliver pauses, furrowing his brow. "Why do you ask? Should I be?"

"You're just really," Felicity gestures in a circular motion towards her face as she considers that she thought his smile was something out of place. "Smiley. Or like a new level of content. Or something."

Oliver chuckles, pulling a shirt over his head and walking over to her. 

"Is smiley even a word?" He smirks, perching on the edge of her desk.

She spins her chair towards him. "What happened to you being a multiple college drop-out?" 

Oliver shrugs, leaning forward and gripping her chair's armrests, balancing his upper body to effectively loom over her. "Guess I've learned a thing or two from being married to a certain gorgeous MIT graduate.”

Felicity's eyebrow begins to rise at the mention of a wife he definitely doesn’t have in her world.

Then his lips are on hers. And one of his hands is up, cupping her chin. And her hand is skimming the material of his shirt.

When they break apart they’re both smiling.

She punctuates the silence with a small "Oh." So this is definitely not her Oliver. Well, not that Oliver is hers, just like she isn’t his. Two totally separate people, them. 

This Oliver chuckles warm and low, shaking his head lightly before giving her a quick kiss on the forehead and turning towards the stairs.

"Any requests?" He asks, slipping on a brown leather jacket she recognizes. Huh.

_“More of that.”_ crosses her mind before thankfully her broken brain-to-mouth filter kicks in for once. "You...ah, know what I like. Surprise me."

He throws back "Don't I always?" and Felicity tries to calm the warm feeling that’s spreading all the way to her toes.

 

xx

 

It turns out this universe's Felicity and Oliver are married. Everything else appears mostly the same. Arrow cases are solved. The team is together. Then at the end of the day, this world's Oliver and Felicity hold hands and drive home because there's a home they have. Together.

In retrospect, it's a nice place. Even on her newer, nicer VP salary, she doesn't think she could afford this.

When they go inside, she follows Oliver's lead. He takes her coat and goes upstairs to what she assumes is their bedroom. She's at a bit of a loss, then, so naturally, she starts to snoop. There are pictures everywhere. On the gorgeous fireplace mantle are older pictures. The one of Oliver and his dad she remembers seeing years before she met Oliver. Family portraits she recognizes from the Queen household. Oliver holding baby Thea. A few rare ones of she and her mother from when she was younger.

On the coffee table and end table are ones of her and Oliver. Some appear to be from Diggle's (upcoming in her universe) wedding. Others are from birthday dinners, gala dates, and a few candid shots she knows John probably took.

On the walls are team photos. She and Roy asleep in 2 lawn chairs in what she can see is this home's backyard. Her and Sara laughing after she tried to make Sara take a selfie what feels like forever ago. Her, Oliver, John, and Lyla holding Sara Diggle in the hospital.

It feels like home, and that scares her because this isn't her life, but it's so damn close it ignites the fantasies she's kept close to the vest. She would have picked out this furniture. She would have made sure her DVD collection had ample showcasing under the TV. She likes color and comfort and even in that she sees things Oliver picked out too. It creates a familiar ache she's not exactly equipped to deal with.

"Felicity?" She hears Oliver call down the stairs.

"Yes?" Felicity hopes her reply sounds more stable than she feels.

"Didn't we tell Laurel we'd meet her and Ted for dinner tonight?" Felicity is happy at that news. She and Laurel have been getting along really well in her universe too. It doesn't replace Sara's absence, but it doesn't need to.

Then she realizes she doesn't know the answer. She takes her purse, still around her arm and gets her tablet out. Her password isn't the same, but she knows herself well enough to know she built in a back door for hacking emergencies, and that luckily works. 

She does have "Reservations w/ Laurel" down for tonight. Also a doctor's appointment next week. Which means if she doesn't want to deal with her regular check-up in this universe, she needs to find Ray and drag him home.

While she's at it, she sets an alert for any activity from Ray Palmer and hopes that since she's operating under the guise of Felicity Queen, he's also trying to stay under the radar and find his wife if she's not with him in this universe too.

"Are you okay?" Oliver says, gently cupping her elbow and standing in front of her.

"What?" She's trying to play it cool, but they're so good at reading each other and she's not exactly perfect at undercover. And he just keeps _touching_ her, something they've been avoiding for months for the sake of their on-the-rocks friendship.

"You didn't answer me." Oliver’s brow scrunches up in confusion.

"I've just been feeling weird today. That's all. But to answer the question, yes, we do have dinner with them at 8. Which is soon, so I better..." She motions towards the stairs with a quick jerk of her thumb that she instantly regrets because it doesn't seem natural at all, being awkward around her husband.

"Hey," his voice is quiet. "If you don't want to go, we don't have to. Laurel will understand."

All she really wants is to go to bed and wake up forgetting this day ever happened. She realizes she said that out loud and Oliver smooths down her hair, then pulls her into his chest. She once again has to force her muscles to relax at his touch. She used to be comforted, but lately they've both been on edge.

"Bad day at QC?" He asks, and she denotes that apparently Oliver still has his company. So that means she needs to take a closer look at Ray Palmer's file on her tablet. If he's not buying out Queen Consolidated, where is he? Where's his wife? What will he do if he can't find her? Save her?

She sighs before mumbling "You could say that." into his chest. She kind of wants to stay there forever, and she kind of hates herself for thinking it when there's so much else to worry about worlds away.

Oliver gives her one last squeeze before pulling away and resting his hands on her shoulders. "I know there's a lot going on right now. Between the company and the Arrow and...everything. So, I’m going to call Laurel and cancel, you're going to change into something comfortable, and we're going to watch something until your brain stops working itself so hard."

She smiles at just the thought. They used to have movie nights during the summer after Slade. Wine and pizza and getting Oliver to make pop culture references. She misses it.

"I'm surprised you gave me that without the vigilante voice. You're lucky I agree with you this time."

He smirks, moving his arms down to interlace their fingers. "I don't need it this time because you said it yourself. You need the night. We both do. Also the voice has never totally worked on you."

"That's because you don't scare me. As long as any criminal masterminds don't strike up the idea to pillage the city without us, Starling can happily give us the night off." She says it and decides to enjoy the moment. Someone she considers to be one of her best friends, her family, is talking to her again. No cagey beating around the bush or avoidance. She'd taken it for granted, before. "Tell Laurel I'm sorry to have missed out. We'll reschedule when I'm feeling...more like myself."

Oliver nods and moves away to make the call while she tries not to book it up the stairs. The hallway is much like the open downstairs area: filled with pictures. More of her and Oliver with the team. These she has to assume are from their wedding. It looks simple for 2 billionaires. She likes it. There are also a few more recent ones of Oliver and Thea accompanied by some older photos of Oliver and Tommy.

Luckily, their bedroom door is open, so she doesn't have to go looking among the many doors upstairs. 

It's messy compared to most of the house, but it's mainly the room's desk, which is littered with both QC papers and research she assumes is for Arrow cases. Some of their clothes are here and there, and she tries not to consider why because being alone with this Oliver is just as awkward as being alone with her universe's considering that the awkwardness stems from one of them being on a different level of togetherness in both cases right now.

The closet, she has to admit, is extravagant. Something completely appropriate for all of her dresses and shoes for every occasion, both Arrow and boardroom. She picks out some flannel pajama pants that look comfortable and a tank top, and tries to prepare herself for more time with this universe's Oliver while she changes.

 

xx

 

She thinks so far, she's not so bad at being Felicity Queen. She fell asleep during some random TV movie last night and woke up with Oliver's arm around her stomach in their bed. 

He made her breakfast and thankfully, when he drove her to Queen Consolidated, she retained her position and office. She had a schedule of meetings and paperwork to fake through, and her assistant made sure she wasn't off track at all. She fit in so well they continued to call her Mrs. Queen and she only almost accidentally corrected them twice.  

So when she shows up at the Foundry to the familiar sights and sounds of the team preparing for a patrol, she feels completely in her element. 

Ray's alerts have only turned up some debit card activity and a few spots on some security cameras. He's in Central City, and she's tempted to call Barry or Caitlin to watch out for him. But what if here Barry isn't the Flash? Or they aren't friends? She doubts it because of how similar this universe has been, but she doesn’t want to risk it. 

She tries searching for Anna Palmer, but nothing related to Ray pops up, and she has no idea what her maiden name was. Ray wasn't very open about Anna because he didn't want Felicity to find out what he was up to, and it's only helping him more now that she's followed him.

She taps her fingers on her chin and puts her Palmer problem in the background in favor of a new alert.

Apparently, they've been tracking some tech company that Queen Consolidated dropped only 3 months earlier. The company was rumored to be supplying short-lasting equipment to make consumers pay more and numerous complaints and a simple record hack she apparently performed confirmed it. Without their biggest source of income and a ruined reputation, Progressitech Supply Company's CEO was drowning in loans and debt to keep the company afloat. These loans included some seedy mob ties and what appeared to be an under-the-table list of drug deliveries that would definitely help them reduce the recent noticeable illegal sales increase in the Glades.

Now they had the location of said list. A big "security firm" was protecting a warehouse with faked ownership papers. The issue was that the list was on a secured hard drive.

"Absolutely not." Was Oliver's immediate reaction after hearing what she considered promising news.

"I didn't even—“ Felicity stands, preparing for their usual arguments concerning her safety.

Oliver cuts her off with a sweeping motion of his arm. "No, but it's a heavily encrypted hard drive that no one else in this room can hack, so you don't have to."

"Oliver, if we take it, they'll notice, and the drug deliveries will be burned. We will lose this connection completely. If I'm there, I can decrypt it, copy it, and we can stop these shipments before they spread to the rest of the city." It’s not even her Starling, but she won’t let all of their progress go to waste because he is being overprotective, no matter what universe.

"I know that." Oliver sighs. Diggle and Roy quietly sit this argument out in the background, but she knows by the looks on their faces that they aren’t exactly on her side. She expected the extra resistance due to the mob connection. 

Oliver takes the 2 steps needed to be closer to her and takes her hand in his. His face is one she recognizes. Usually one made for serious confessions about the island. But it is directed at her.

"I know I've been extra...protective, lately." He pauses, taking a deep breath and rubbing his fingers in his trademark nervous gesture. "I just can't lose you to something that seems simple even though it's incredibly dangerous. Especially when you're pregnant and we agreed you'd take it easy if I was reasonably protective about it. I don't feel like I'm alone in worrying about you right now."

Much like her many other experiences with Oliver's honest confessions, she both better understands his side of the story and is surprised into a small moment of silence and reflection. Technically, this Felicity was pregnant, but she’s in this body, so she’s kind of freaking out in every possible spectrum.

"Felicity, even Lyla took some time off from the field when she was pregnant. You barely go out into the field in the first place. We just don't want to add to your stress." Diggle chimes in, but Felicity is less comforted. She’s already in the field, on a mission, that all 3 of them are probably freaking out about her being on in her universe.

She fiddles with the ATOM around her neck. She hadn't thought about it so much when things were safe. These decisions, missions. Life will go on after this. She might accidentally change a universe, a life existing or not, because she took over this Felicity Smoak's identity.

She concedes with "I might be able to wirelessly decrypt the drive. If we're lucky, their crappy tech supplier makes crappy hard drives too," She pauses to deal out a warning. "But I'm going in the van in case it doesn't work and you need me after all."

Everyone nods in agreement.

She smiles. Because she's so glad to have them at her back, in every universe.

With everyone on the same page, Oliver and Roy get ready to suit up while Diggle prepares the van. She considers changing from her work dress into some jeans when she sees the ATOM flashing in a quick 10 pulses before dimming.

Ray Palmer has left this universe because he must not have found Anna either. And she has to follow him into the next one.

She takes a deep sigh. This universe is hard enough to get used to, but she thinks it might be hard to let go of too. Open friendship and love and still getting to save their city. But that's not her reality, and she's sure as hell not waiting forever until Oliver decides what he's doing in her universe.

This Oliver returns in his leathers, hood down and mask hanging around his neck. "Thank you for listening to me, Felicity."

She smiles. She'll miss the open communication, too. "I think that's what compromise is about.”

Oliver shakes his head and chuckles lightly. "I love you." He says, and she knows she can't say it back. She hasn't said what she feels to the Oliver Queen in the life she's known, and it seems wrong to have her first real utterance not be heard by him. He hasn't even said it. He's just said that he doesn't _not_ love her, which is confusing and annoying because they don’t talk about it.

So she kisses him, because that she's done before, especially when the feeling was bittersweet.

"I'll be out to the van in a second." She says when they break apart. She watches Oliver and Roy climb the stairs, clutches the ATOM, and wishes this universe's Felicity the best of luck before she goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This universe was imagined as “What would have happened if Oliver and Felicity had started dating sooner/finished their date.” They get together sooner, get married, and start planning to have a family. It was a very fluffy venting system for mid-season angst. It was also a chance to make Oliver a little OOC because the finale was far away when I started writing this and I wanted Oliver to smile and be happy for a little while after the whole dying thing.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you stick around for the next chapter! I'll probably add the next chapter every few days until they're all up here! I want to proof a little bit instead of publishing all 5 chapters at once.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s some Russian in this one, so all translations will be in the bottom notes. (Most of them are also written to be able to put into Google translate, if that’s more your speed.) Felicity doesn’t know what they’re saying, so I left it that way, but I always enjoy translations for convenience. I also have a little fun with Russian curses, which is part of the reason this fic is rated T.
> 
> There’s also a tiny Red vs. Blue reference in this chapter, even though I don’t expect that fandom overlap to be that big.
> 
> Thanks to everyone that's commented, given kudos, and bookmarked this story so far! I really appreciate it!

She’s assaulted by a massive headache and the feeling of cold hard gravel scraping her palms when she wakes. She opens her eyes to find a dark room in what appears to be a rotting warehouse. She tries to get up, but a strong hand firmly pushes her body back to the ground.

"спуститься!" Is yelled into her ear, and she has no idea what it means, but it sounds vaguely Russian, like maybe it’s a curse word, so she just obeys the firm hand against her back when she hears the distinct sound of gunfire uncomfortably close.

The person shielding her with their body hisses "остаться!" And points a firm finger to the floor. The weight moves from her back and she covers her ears at the returning fire, presumably from the person behind her.

She's never been perfect at following directions, anyways, she thinks as she inches her head out from behind the crate. Then she watches 2 silhouettes from across the room fall in silence, and decides maybe in this situation it's best to listen to the person defending her.

Her adrenaline is running on high, and she gets to use it when the tall figure grabs her arm and yells "бе́гай!"

She tries to keep up with her bulky companion, but his lengthy strides quickly out-pace her, so it feels more like a painful drag. They run to a black van that feels very much like it's owned by the bad guys she’s used to facing, and she's shoved into a worn leather backseat, her accomplice right next to her, yelling "пойди́те!" loudly at the driver's seat.

The car jerks, slamming her already throbbing head into the seat as it peels out of the warehouse. She takes a sharp breath, wondering why her head still hurts. That didn’t appear to be an effect of the ATOM before, but maybe more than one jump did something to the device. 

The man next to her, still cloaked in the dark of the unlit backseat tilts his head as he focuses his gaze onto her. “Ты в порядке?”

She’s suddenly angry she never took a foreign language in high school. “What?” comes out of her mouth before she can worry about the consequences.

The man’s face becomes illuminated by a passing streetlight, and Felicity’s blood runs cold as he rolls his eyes and lets out an annoyed sigh. Like this is a regular occurrence. “Are you okay? дерьмо, kid. I thought you’d been practicing your Russian.”

“I…” She’s not really sure how to react to Slade Wilson at this point. Slade’s arm is draped across the backseat, close to encroaching on her personal space, like they’re buddies. The last time she saw him was in an underground cell. The time before that, she shoved a needle of Mirikuru into his neck. They really don’t have a lot of cherished moments between them for her to work off of.

The van’s driver had slowed down as they appeared to be on safer streets, but a sharp turn once again makes her wonder where the hell the seat belts are in this thing as her head smacks into the cracked leather headrest behind her. She lets out a more audible gasp this time, causing Slade to slide over to the middle seat. Her body automatically flinches away from his touch, but he ignores her reaction and places a hand behind her neck to get a closer look at the back of her head.

“су́кин сын, Smoak. You’re supposed to be tech support. Seems like you come back with a new injury every time. You know how protective the captain gets.” Slade pokes and prods at her head for a few tense seconds, then one of his hands comes away stained with fresh blood and she seriously considers passing out.

“I know,” Felicity lies, then tries to move Slade back to the more pressing matter of her head possibly profusely bleeding. “How bad does it look?”

“Nothing compared to the time Speedy came back practically holding her guts in her hand.” Slade gives off the comment with a chuckle, but her thoughts are starting to feel a little fuzzy. She tries to hold on to the mention of Speedy, because it’s not like that’s a popular nickname and where there’s Thea or Roy, there’s probably Oliver.

“That’s, um, not exactly comforting here.”

“It should be. Nasty picture, but also damn impressive. My point is that a little bloody head wound and the side effects that will follow probably won’t hurt as much in comparison.”

“Do those side effects include passing out? Because that sounds really,“ The car bumps as if it hit a nasty pothole, then slows to a stop. “really nice right now.”

Slade’s eyes widen a little in response, and he shouts “Get your stupid ass back here, already! The geek needs the medic before she passes out!”

“I take offense to the term ge—” She thinks a full sentence actually comes out of her mouth, but it’s ignored in favor of helping her out of the car. A familiar red hooded companion slings an arm around her, making sure her feet touch the ground to give her some feeling of balance.

Slade marches ahead, shouting orders to mysterious men in black and leather. Roy supports her steadily, but it’s getting harder to keep her eyes open. She really wants to give in to the heaviness of her eyelids and the pain in her head.

“Felicity, you have to stay awake, you hear me? C’mon, we just have to get to—“

A voice she has no trouble identifying bellows down a staircase she can barely focus on. “What the hell happened out there?!”

Oliver’s Arrow voice is very distinct. She knows it because she hates it and doesn’t respect it as much as Oliver thinks she should. She respects him. All of him, not just the alter-ego he tries to distance himself from.

Suddenly he’s in front of her, cupping her cheek and trying to inspect what she hopes won’t be a scarring head wound. “It’s okay, Ol’ver. I’m okay,” It’s then that she realizes her words are slurring together in a way that betrays what she’s trying to communicate. “I will be. Jus’ tired s’all.” She pats his cheek in return and feels like she’s one of those drunks that has no idea they’re completely smashed.

Oliver almost cracks a smile at her behavior, but instead addresses Roy. “I’ll take her to lie down. Get Laurel.” Roy nods and runs off like the good vigilante he is, and Oliver quickly grabs her arms to keep her standing.

“Why’s he getting Laurel? M’not getting arrest’d.” Oliver shakes his head slightly, moving her arms to his neck, apparently preparing to carry her before she makes a noise of dissent. “I’m gonna vomit ‘f you even try.”

“I’m going to _kill_ Slade for letting you get hurt. I told him to _protect_ you. залу́па.” Oliver slides her arm around his torso as he talks, slowly ascending the staircase she now realizes is in the Queen Mansion.

“Ooo, I know that word. Also, gross. S’not his fault, for once.” Felicity mutters into Oliver’s shoulder as they reach the top of the stairs and start moving. This house has always been a maze and she currently barely knows up from down, so, not great.

She feels his chest rumble against her as if he doesn’t agree with her, but then all she feels is really expensive sheets and she forgets how to care about anything else. Finally, sleep.

She hears “спать, Любовь моя” right before her eyes close, and she starts to consider asking Oliver to teach her Russian when she gets back to the right universe. 

 

xx

 

When she wakes, the headache doesn’t feel as sharp. It’s almost like her heart is beating in time with the dull thud against her skull.

“Felicity, I need you to wake up.” Felicity just wants to return to the painless bliss of sleep, but she opens her eyes to find the voice, Laurel, sitting on the mattress and gently shaking her leg, and the confusion of it makes her sit up quickly. Too quickly, by groan that escapes her lips from the effort.

Laurel chuckles lightly, pushing Felicity’s head back into the sinfully comfortable pillow. “I said wake up, not sit up. I patched up your head to help stop the bleeding, but someone has to check you every couple of hours to make sure it isn’t a full blown concussion. Here. For the swelling.” Laurel hands Felicity a bag of ice, and Felicity savors the feeling of the chill against her throbbing head.

“Not that I don’t enjoy you playing doctor in bed with me-“ Felicity groans, too tired to even attempt to fix that sentence. “I just mean, why are _you_ helping me? Not that I don’t want you to, given that we’re sort of friends now, but out of everyone here dressed in really intense leather, why the lawyer?”

Laurel furrows her eyebrows. “I can’t tell if you’re confused, trying to make a knock at my medical abilities, or are in need of a CAT scan.”

“Mostly confused, but I won’t turn down anything that would make sure my head stops hurting in the near future.”

Laurel gets off the bed and shines a light in Felicity’s eyes as she speaks. “I was going to be a lawyer. For a long time, I wanted to be just like my mother. But when she left, I decided I wanted to help people with my hands, not just fight for them in a courtroom. I didn’t sign up to be this brigade’s personal physician, but between you, Oliver, and Harper, I keep having to come back between shifts at the hospital.”

It’s a weird feeling, readjusting everything you know about a person. This universe’s Laurel is no less accomplished, but she seems to have distance from whatever _this_ is. “Oh. Yeah. Right. I don’t know how I forgot that, but then again I’m not sure I’ve had many head wounds before.”

“Your father, for all his faults, was at least protective enough to grant you that luxury. Although now you take more risks than you need to. Removing the bullet you took for my sister last month was an unexpected surprise.” Laurel seems satisfied with Felicity’s condition and starts packing up the pen light and some extra wound dressings.

Felicity pauses at the mention of her father. She never talks about her father in her universe because he’s not worth the wasted air it would take. 

The look on her face must look as alarmed as she feels because Laurel smiles and comfortingly pats her shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Just keep resting and I’ll have someone check on you every few hours for the rest of the day, just in case. The bleeding has stopped, but I’d suggest some acetaminophen for the headache. I’ll leave some for the next time you wake up, okay?”

Felicity nods and thanks Laurel before removing her glasses and readjusting herself in the bed. She can’t tell if she’s tired from the being shot at, the head injury, or the universe jumping, but it all takes her energy in waves and suddenly she’s drifting off again.

 

xx

 

As promised, she hears people check on her throughout her sleep, but when she earnestly wakes, light is spilling into the room through a window to her left and Oliver is combing his fingers through her hair. Well, as much as he can without disturbing her injury or turning her dyed locks into a mess of knots.

Even though her eyes are fuzzy without her glasses, she knows he’s wearing a look of overprotectiveness and concern. She feels it in way he’s touching her, the fact that he hasn’t stopped, even though she’s awake. She reaches out a hand in hopes that she’ll eventually find one of his, and he instead takes the hand that was gently smoothing down her hair and places it atop her own.

“How are you?” Oliver asks, lightly tangling their fingers together. She knows that to this Oliver, once again, they’re farther along in whatever this is than she and her Oliver. It’s different than the last universe, though.

When she fumbles around with her other hand for her glasses and really looks at him, she starts to understand why. 

He looks tired, and not just physically, but down to the deepest parts of himself. She knows when he works too hard because she usually forces him to take a break and she knows when he feels guilty even when it’s not his fault. This look is all of those things and more. He’s looking at her like she’s the first drink of water he’s seen in miles of desert. Like holding her hand is the most sacred thing he could ever possibly accomplish.

“I’m okay,” Oliver tilts his head down to inspect her gaze, so she changes her answer to “Better, at least. You?”

Oliver almost looks sheepish, but not surprised she asked. “I haven’t really slept. Between the intel you brought back with Slade, the calls from Anatoli, worrying about you…it didn’t seem like a priority. It’s probably better, anyways. I told Dig and Roy that I’d lead training today and then we have that weasel Palomo to interrogate…”

In considering all the replies to what came out of his mouth, she asks “Anatoli?” because she knows that name, and a few scattered puzzle pieces are starting to fit together.

Oliver nods, adjusting his position on the mattress so he can comfortably start petting her hair again. She wants to argue that she’s not a dog, but it feels magical against her scalp, so her protests die in her throat. “He trusts me enough to let me run things by myself for the most part, you know that. He trusts me more than most of the other авторитет in the organization. He still keeps tabs, especially if I might be down a man. The other боевик will make up for your absence, since you aren’t one of our fighters, so I told him we would be back to regular operations by tonight."

At this point, she’s pretty sure she’s right, and wondering why she’s not scared. It’s not like she didn’t know Oliver used to be Russian Bratva. She never asked about it directly, because she knew he didn’t like discussing it, but there’s also a really good reason he doesn’t talk about it. It’s just in this universe, he’s still Bratva, and apparently so is she, and everyone else she knows but Laurel, for the most part.

But she’s still not scared. The revelation stills her, but she covers it with a shiver. It doesn’t scare her because she knows if Oliver had continued the killing, this might have been what he’d become. The way he looks into her eyes, for absolution and hope and someone to let his guard down with? That’s not a man who wants to snap her neck with a fancy Russian curse and be on his way. That’s a man who wishes circumstances were different. This Starling with a Bratva led by Oliver is probably as close to good as he can get it without angering Anatoli, and he’s coming to her, asking for that to be enough.

Something wells up inside of her for this Oliver that isn’t getting to be the hero she knows he can be. A man that could do so much more good. So she whispers “Come here,” quietly, flipping over to face away from him. Even though he seems momentarily concerned for her, he soon realizes that it’s not about her at all. He wraps an arm tightly around her middle, entangling their legs and kissing the back of her head before settling on a pillow himself.

She doesn’t have time for this. She’s not finding Ray. She has no idea where to start in a world where she actually has mob connections. All around, things aren’t going as planned, and she’s wasting time lying in bed all morning.

She lets those thoughts clear from her head as she feels Oliver’s breathing slow behind her. He’s not her Oliver, but this is what he needs, and she’s always going to be his girl, so this is what she’s going to do to help him. Just like she always has.

 

xx

 

When she’s cleared to stop spending all of her time in bed, the first thing she does is find out where her computers are. Well, she finds the room that has seemingly been turned into some sort of office-like computer hub for her, at least. However, she can’t stop herself from asking Oliver a question that’s been nagging at her since Laurel brought the topic up. 

“Laurel, um,” Felicity pauses, trying to push back the white hot anger she feels somewhere in the bottom of her stomach. “She mentioned my father. I know I don’t bring him up much, but-“

“Felicity,” Oliver interrupts her, cupping her shoulder with his hand and giving it a firm squeeze. “We’ll find him. After what he did…betraying you and leaving you to die as if you would pay for his debts. I want to find him too. I want to drag him out of whatever hell hole he’s hiding in and kill him myself. Since the second I told Anatoli you were under my protection and you agreed to help me, we made the deal that we’d find him, and I don’t intend to go back on that. Now just isn’t the time when I’ve got the Triad trying to poach on our territory.”

It’s not hard to see how she could’ve been convinced to help Oliver after being betrayed by her father. It doesn’t even surprise her that instead of leaving her, he used her somehow. But she’s never believed in death as a way to fix things that have been broken. In any universe, it’s hard to believe she could. “It’s not about killing him, Oliver. It’s about making sure he pays for his crimes.”

“You have a twisted sense of justice, then. He was Bratva, just like I am.” Oliver’s guilt is clear in his blue eyes, as if he’s trying to convince her to realize what a mistake she’s made in following him, even though it seems she can’t really stop herself from wanting to stand by his side, in any universe.

“You’re…” she pauses, unsure how to explain it. “He was scum that tried to barter with his daughter, and you showed mercy. I’ve never once seen my father seek redemption, and you’re trying to save this city with what you have instead of tearing it apart. It’s not about the organization, it’s about who he is as a person. Instead of protecting me, he ran away, something I know you’re often stupidly too stubborn to do.”

“Я всегда буду защищать тебя, счастье.” Oliver says, wrapping his arms around her hips and kissing her forehead.

“What does that mean?” Felicity asks, crossing her arms instead of putting them in more…desirable places.

“It means that I have to go start planning with Dig and Sara for the interrogation tonight, I need specs for Polomo’s place, and you really need to work on your Russian.” Felicity skeptically rolls her eyes, doubtful that his lengthy answer is true, but allows him to leave while she acquaints herself with the only slightly beat up desktop computer that is obviously in the middle of receiving her IT specialty assistance.

 

xx

 

“Where is China White?” Oliver asks, his voice cloaked by his modifier. Even as a feared Russian Captain, he wears the hood to protect himself. Some men are more scared of The Hood of Starling City than Oliver Queen, Bratva авторитет, it seems.

“She’s a crazy Triad bitch! I don’t know anything about her, I swear!” Charles Palomo chokes out, currently being held by the throat, according to the security feed Felicity’s watching. His bony hands are clenched around Oliver’s arm, but there’s no break in Oliver’s firm stance.

“I didn’t ask what you thought of her personally, I asked you where she is!” Oliver growls at the whimpering man, pushing his thumb against a vein sticking out of Palomo’s throat.

Palomo screams “She took the drugs, man, t-the whole shipment! I swear to god, I didn’t say shit. She barged in and killed everyone so I ran! There’s no way I would turn on the Queens!”

Oliver drops Palomo without warning, delivering a sharp kick to the man’s ribs after his swift reunion with gravity. “Mr. Queen is no longer in need of your services. You will leave Starling within 24 hours or I will find you on his behalf and ensure there’s nothing left of you to worry about again.”

Oliver turns back into an alley, leaving the whimpering man against the cold brick of his apartment building.

“You really should get this whole talking to yourself in the third person thing under control. You’re both your boss and your hit man. It’s confusing.” Felicity sighs, tapping her fingers on the keyboard idly.

Oliver brushes her comment off, but the smirk in his voice is evident. “Did you find out what the Triad is going after next?”

“They have a target on the move towards Grell Street. Give me a second to—“ Felicity stops, recognizing what is on the screen in front of her. The _face_ in front of her. Because Ray Palmer is standing right next to that face, holding her hand, the ring on her finger glinting underneath a lighting pole. Why would they want _her_?

“Why would they want who, Felicity?” Oliver asks, the wind from his building jumps obscuring the sound of his voice.

“Anna Palmer. Wife of Ray Palmer. Huge technology businessman. Currently being kind of a jackass, in my opinion, but you have to help him, Oliver. Because if you don’t god knows what Ray is going to do, and then he’ll probably run off _again_ -“

“Felicity.” Oliver’s voice steadies her momentarily, but she’s already halfway out of her computer chair.

“I have to be there. Ray is unstable right now, and this is only going to make things worse.”

“I’m not letting you anywhere near the Chinese Triad, Felicity. You are not getting hurt just because you have some soft spot for-“

“This isn’t about me! This is about making sure a man I used to respect doesn’t rip the world apart because his wife might die tonight.”

Oliver pauses. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

“You can’t promise me that. Don’t say that you can. We both know the dangers of this life, even when we’re on the side trying to save people. I’m getting in one of those stupid, disgusting vans whether you like it or not and I’m going to talk to him.”

Oliver doesn’t speak, and she almost rips the earpiece out in frustration. “…Take Sara and Dig with you. If the Triad brings an army, I’m going to need the back-up.”

 

xx

 

Felicity wishes she hadn’t been naive enough to hope by the time they arrive on the scene. 

Oliver is fighting off China White while her minions are taking turns beating up Ray, laughing each time he rises from the ground to take another beating. 

Anna lies on the concrete, bleeding from god knows where. There’s just so much blood. And she’s shaking, and crying, and begging for it all to stop.

Felicity flies out of the van, scrambling to Anna’s side. She can hear Sara and John behind her, calling her name in frustrated tones.

“It’s going to be okay, Anna. You hear me? You’ll be fine. Ray’s coming to get you, and the police are on their way, do you understand? You have to survive this, okay?” Felicity is practically begging, holding her jacket to the woman’s abdomen. Blood red coats the fabric in an instant, and her knees are dyed from the puddle on the ground as well.

She just wants to save Anna. It’s not her wife, and Ray is barely even a friend to her at this point, but it’s still not fair for Anna to lose her life because the Triad wants to punish this universe’s Ray. Maybe they were supposed to be under protection. Maybe it was all random. Maybe it’s fate. She doesn’t give a damn. All she knows is that they’ve been hopping around universes, and people are getting hurt. People that maybe wouldn’t be if they’d been different people.

Ray limps over, saved by Sara, his face bruised and bloody. He holds Anna’s hand, mumbling “Not again, Anna, please!” into her skin. They sit there watching as the light fades from the woman’s eyes. Felicity wonders if they’re a beautiful hazel in every other universe.

They’re still sitting in the same spots when she feels a warm hand wrap around her shoulder. “Felicity.” Oliver says, and she almost wants to curl into him and never let go. Because at least, so far, she’s had him. Maybe not the same man in every way, but in all the ones that count. Oliver and her team, at her side, every time.

Ray has been alone. Which is why it doesn’t surprise her when he looks at her with a caged fury in his eyes. He reaches around his neck for the ATOM just as she yells “Ray, wait!” and then he’s gone, the Ray Palmer of this universe taking his place.

Felicity turns her head. Oliver is looking at her strangely, almost cautiously. Because she’s not his Felicity. That’s always the problem. They get so close, but then it just breaks apart, and it scars her a little deeper. 

He’s searching her eyes for answers, so she grabs the ATOM before it even flashes once, and hopes he finds what he’s looking for in the woman she leaves behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "спуститься!" (Get down!)  
> "остаться!" (Stay!)  
> "бе́гай!" (Run!)  
> "пойди́те!" (Go!)  
> “Ты в порядке?” (You okay?)  
> “…дерьмо, kid.” (…shit, kid.)  
> “су́кин сын, Smoak. (Son of a bitch, Smoak.)  
> “…protect you. залу́па.” (Dickhead.)  
> “спать, Любовь моя” (Sleep, my love.)  
> “…авторитет in the organization.” (Brigadier/Authority - Captains, Like Oliver is in-series)  
> “The other боевик…” (Boyevik/Warrior/Hitman - Part of the main strike force, a soldier.)  
> “Я всегда буду защищать тебя, счастье.” (I will always protect you, felicity. - This is the literal word felicity/happiness, which I have Oliver using as a pet name.)  
> “…Bratva авторитет, it seems.” (Brigadier/Authority)
> 
> I did way too much research and universe building for this part of the story. I wanted there to be a reason Felicity would be working with the Bratva without being an official member. It’s hinted at, and I may eventually expand on it in another story/AU type-thing because it was really interesting to create.
> 
> Again, thanks for giving me such an awesome response to this story. A couple of people have compared this story to the TV show Sliders, which is interesting since I feel like I've heard of it before, but I've never seen it. Probably something I considered watching at some point. That or the author of the book I got the idea from got her idea from it. Fiction is weird that way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, it's that time of year again. Comic-con. You won't believe how many stores I went to so that I could get the special Arrow cover of TV Guide. (If I were richer, I would probably get The Flash and Supergirl ones too, tbh.)
> 
> Anyways, here's the next chapter! As always, thanks for the love!

She feels the air knocked out of her this time. She’s staring at the inky blue sky, as always in Starling, covered with clouds. There’s green neon light reflecting off the wet ground and if she tilts her head she thinks she can see near the garbage bins where all of the bartenders and servers take smoke breaks at Verdant. Loud techno music is lightly vibrating through her ears and—and Ray Palmer is above her, preparing to shove something that looks very sharp into her chest.

On some instinct she never realized she had, she rolls, splashing into a puddle in the concrete of the alleyway, barely missing Ray’s blade. He prepares to strike again, but Felicity pulls her body up, summersaulting forward, again away from the blade.

“Ray—“ She tries, but Ray just keeps on swinging when she turns towards him, only landing a quick cut on her arm as she dodges out of his way. “Ray, killing me isn’t the answer to getting Anna back!” 

Ray raises the sword above his head, but as he brings it down, Felicity blocks the strike by grabbing his elbow and wrist, then pushing his elbow into a lock. His eyes grow wide as she quickly pulls up his elbow in one hand, then slips out the hilt of the sword from his grasp with the other. Rather than slice the blade up into his torso, she drops it completely. Felicity takes his stunned movement as a chance to punch Ray in the nose, sending him stumbling away.

She starts to congratulate herself before wondering how the hell she learned to do that. Sara never really taught her the specifics of her fighting style, but that disarming move was definitely not in the memo. She didn’t even think about it, she just acted on instinct.

Ray is now holding his bloodied nose in one hand, glaring at her before running off into the night. She’s so stunned that she doesn’t notice Roy until he grabs her shoulder, prompting another gut reaction to elbow him in the gut.

Thankfully she’s only halfway through the motion before he steps back and holds his hands up in front of him. “Um, you’re bleeding.” He says, pointing at the tear in her jacket.

She slowly peels the jacket off and away from the wound. “Probably won’t need stitches, at least.” She sighs, frowning at the dirty water stains and the hole now ripped through the sleeve. “It is a nice jacket though.”

“Some guy stabs you of all people in an alley and you care more about the state of a jacket?”

“He stabbed _at_ me…?” She tries weakly.

Roy shakes his head and sighs. “So who the hell was that guy? And if it involves dark and sordid details from your past, at least tell me why he wants to kill you so I can protect you next time.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Roy. Surprisingly, I had it handled.” Roy follows her into Verdant, rolling his eyes in his usual way about her denial of protection. “Also, I’m not the one to ask about dark details. That’s more Oliver’s speed, isn’t it?”

Roy shakes his head as they weave through bunches of young club-goers, finally meeting back at the doorway to the lair.  “Nah, Oliver’s complicated family stuff most of the time.”

“I wondered why my ears were burning. Should I be worried?” Oliver quips as they descend the stairs. He’s dressed in one of his flashier QC suits rather than the green one she generally expects him to be in at this hour, and is sitting at her desk chair with his feet propped on the metal table.

Felicity shoos his feet off with a quick brush of her hand as she leans next to him to start turning her computers on. “Not unless you worry about vigilante protégés blithely comparing your life events to mine.”

“Then I guess I’m…fine…” Oliver trails off and she turns away from her computer to look down at him in her chair. Really, he’s so tall that she’s not even towering over him, but he’s looking a little worried. “Are you?” He points to her arm.

“Oh!” She quickly moves to their medical supplies, grabbing some gauze and alcohol. “That was just…” She doesn’t really know how to explain it. The second time she’s come into another universe with a new wound? An unexpected sword fight with her ex-something that she totally kicked ass in? Nothing really seems to fit.

“What we were talking about in the first place!” Roy pipes back in, zipping up his Arsenal costume as he strolls in from the bathroom.

“He’s just some guy who tried to attack the wrong girl at a club. It’s not a big deal.” She tries to be casual, but the idea that Ray’s attentions are turning to killing her are unsettling. _Love is the most powerful emotion_ flits across her mind before she stomps it out. This isn’t love, it’s obsession, just like it was with Slade all those months ago.

“Yeah, except for the part where he had a sword, Felicity. Maybe you’re used to people dropping out of the sky to fight you with swords, but that’s not even the usual Glades-level crazy.”

Roy is giving her a look like he knows she’s full of it, and Oliver is clearly holding back whatever comment he wants to make for the moment. Then the two men share a look and suddenly drop the subject.

She waits for Oliver to dress out into his Arrow suit like Roy has, usually the signal for patrols to begin, but he stays in her chair, the slight spinning back and forth making a squeak in the abrupt silence. Roy looks to her expectantly, but for what she’s not exactly sure.

“If something’s up, we don’t have to work tonight.” Felicity says, sidling up against her computer station.

“No, It’s just…” Oliver looks at her, then darts his eyes away. “The guy that attacked you. I know you can protect yourself, and I know you hate it when we get protective of you. It doesn’t stop me from wishing I could have done something or wanting to make sure he doesn’t kidnap your from your apartment or something.”

“Oliver, I’m fine. If I hadn’t been…I know you’d come find me.” She says it because deep down, it’s true. She can handle herself pretty well, but she can only do so much to escape some violent criminal’s grasp by herself with her…limited skill set.

“I don’t know how much help I would’ve been,” Oliver shrugs, avoiding her gaze again like he’s ashamed. “You’re the Arrow. And our resident computer expert, no matter what you’ve been trying to teach me. Diggle and Roy, they can handle themselves _and_ protect you. I’ve barely gotten enough training to use the assault rifles without ripping the wall apart instead of the target.” He looks frustrated, gripping the chair’s arm tightly. Felicity takes a deep breath.

She, Felicity Smoak, as the Arrow? This universe is actually trying to kill her. Not just Ray, but anyone she pissed off to get to this point in her life. Who knew how many enemies Oliver had, not to mention the ones he was always making just by helping the city. She’s never been on a hit list before. She’s not really elated by the idea.

No wonder she beat up Ray so easily. She personally might not have much fighting experience, but this universe’s Felicity has that built-in muscle memory that being on an island instilled and the physical muscle to back it up. She can trap him with a rope arrow and drag him back home so he can’t hurt anyone else if she has to. She’s suddenly got the advantage. If she can find Ray, she can win this fight. This is probably the most confident she’s felt in a fight that didn’t involve hacking into illegal places.

She focuses on Oliver, clearly angry that he can’t do more to help her as the Arrow. She knows the feeling. She’s always known her place on the team was important, but sometimes she wishes she could be out there like Sara used to be, right by his side and able to physically watch his back.

“Oliver,” She starts, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Being a part of all this…it’s not about what weapons you can use or what fighting styles you’ve mastered. I…you’re not here because I need your support in battle, at least not all the time. You’re here because you’re my partner. How do you think you got on this team in the first place?”

“Because you crashed in through my office window on the brink of death after my mother shot you.” Oliver deadpans, and she winces at the thought, wondering how much it hurt Oliver to get all the way down to the parking garage to find her car way back when.

“Probably, yes, but also because I trust you. I needed you then, and I still need you now.” She offers a small smile, gently stroking his suit jacket with her thumb.

“Because I’m your partner.” Oliver affirms, locking his eyes with hers.

“Because you’re my partner.” She parrots back, allowing her smile to grow a little more. It feels rusty. The mornings as the women who were with Oliver Queen in much more intimate ways seem very far away, even though she knows it can’t have been that long since she left home.

She can see Roy rolling his eyes in the corner, so she awkwardly tries to create distance between them by darting to the bathroom.

The leather outfit covers the scars marring the flesh that she keeps trying to remember only had one scar the last time she checked. She was proud of that one scar. Now she understands why Oliver seems so tentative to show his to anyone outside of their little group.

“The man we’re looking for is Ray Palmer. If you want to know more about the man that attacked me in the alley, that’s where we should turn our efforts tonight.” It feels odd trying to fill Oliver’s shoes as a leader the moment she steps out of the bathroom, but it’s also very natural. She’s just as much a part of the team as anyone else, and it’s been a long time since she was anything less than a partner to him. “Oliver, I want you on comms. I’m going to set some trackers on his activity and facial scans throughout Starling City, when you see him, you tell me. Where’s Dig?”

“Sorry I’m late.” Diggle says, descending the stairs to quickly grab supplies from their ammunition cabinet. “Any particular reason you’re being hunted by this guy?” John Diggle, as always, is the best companion someone that masquerades as a vigilante every night could ask for. He doesn’t push, instead gently prodding the topic and hoping that she’ll reveal something that will help their team succeed.

“His wife died. He wants revenge if he can’t have her. He wasn’t always this way,” She pauses, trying to remember his well-meaning-but-also-pretty-creepy efforts to get her to build the ATOM with him as his VP. She remembers the meetings and blueprints and pure, nerdy excitement between the two of them. “But he’s angry and determined, and that kind of obsession makes him dangerous.”

“And what does that have to do with you?” Diggle asks, and it’s something Felicity has been asking herself for a while now. Why didn’t she wait for Oliver? She pressed the panic button and left regardless. Why is she risking her life to stop Ray when it isn’t really her business?

But she knows the answer. What Ray is doing is wrong, and she keeps telling Oliver he’s a hero. And saving people, even in alternate universes, is what usually what heroes do. Including her. “We were friends before. Still might be, if he makes it out of this with his head on straight. I’m not letting him do any more irreversible damage if I’m able to stop him.”

Diggle nods, satisfied, while Roy grabs his bow and quiver from his case. She leans next to Oliver, setting up the search perimeters. It seems since their encounter Ray’s been keeping to the shadows.

“Let’s go boys. We have a lot of ground to cover before daylight.”

 

xx

 

About 3 hours into the unsuccessful patrol (with small amounts of commentary between the team about how little luck they’re having) Oliver pipes in, and it makes her gut feel heavy.

“Felicity…I um, I know where he is.” Oliver sounds afraid, which is rare, considering he is who he is, be it a billionaire or the Arrow.

“Oliver, are you—?” She tries not to sound frantic when a familiar voice replies instead.

“Come to the Clock Tower. Alone.” Ray then cuts the feed to Oliver’s comm and she bolts into action, letting her adrenaline take control.

At first she had to get used to the muscles supporting her every movement, allowing her to jump buildings and shoot arrows with the bow she knows would usually feel heavier. Now she’s figuring out how to utilize it to her advantage. John and Roy are shouting in her comm but all she can think of is how Ray seems to be blaming Oliver for the death of his wife now, and if he tried to kill her, this universe’s Oliver is as fair game as their own.

Her lungs are burning as she shoots a rope arrow into the Clock Tower’s brick, but she tries to mask the pain under the overwhelming numbness at the thought that this Oliver, any Oliver, could already be dead. She tries not to think of the thousands of other universes where his death is an inevitability, including her own. She instead braces the bow on the rope and slides, rolling into the room that was once Sara’s base through the already broken clock face.

She brings the bow up as she stands, watching Ray tighten his grip on the knife that’s against Oliver’s neck. “Put the weapon down, Ray. It’s not Oliver’s fault what happened to Anna.”

“It’s not just about Oliver, Felicity. It’s about you. The both of you! In every universe, I lose Anna! She dies during the attack on Starling, or she dies before we even meet, but I _always_ lose her.” Ray digs the knife further into Oliver’s neck, drawing a sliver of blood. “Then there’s you two. Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen, always meeting up, being together. It’s not fair, Felicity! Why are you two so damn connected?”

“You know that’s not true, Ray. There are more universes out there than we can quantify, and you don’t know every one. All you need to know is that they aren’t yours! It’s time to end this and take your life as it is. I thought you were better than this. _Smarter_ than this! Anna wouldn’t want you to spiral off into revenge just because you feel lost without her!”

“Don’t tell me what Anna would say! You don’t get to say that! She can’t say anything, because she isn’t here! She never is, and I’m tired of being the only one that knows that loss.” Ray slices the knife against Oliver’s chest and he lets out a howl of pain as his shirt tears and blood starts staining the material.

“Felicity!” Oliver cries out, trying to find a way out of Ray’s grip and finding none. Her universe’s Oliver could break Ray’s hold easily, because Ray isn’t exactly a professional, but this one can’t. He didn’t go through the trails of an island or Hong Kong that this Felicity did. She’s the one doing the saving this time, and she won’t let him down.

“For every universe I don’t find Anna, you will lose Oliver. And if you don’t believe me-“ Ray lifts the knife to stab Oliver from the front, which gives Oliver the opportunity to slip Ray’s grasp and clumsily tumble out of the way. She shoots the arrow she’s had nocked almost too long, its path flying true into Ray’s upper chest. Another arrow follows into his abdomen.

She first looks to Oliver, who is bleeding, but okay enough to stand. He gives her a look, right into her eyes, then nods as if he knows she was worried. She nods in return, walking to Ray’s body. He’s not dead, but she can see his hand travel up to his neck, right before her ATOM flashes its usual pulses to signal his arrival in another universe.

This universe’s Ray Palmer bleeds out scared and alone, and she’s paralyzed by the ease of ending another person’s life.

 

xx

 

Felicity is doing Oliver’s stitches, simply going through the motions against Dig’s protests. She thinks of Ray’s face; Scared, worried, in pain. She can never tell if the versions of herself in these universes she travels to remember her or anything that’s happened, but she really wishes she could forget. She wishes the Felicity that’s made tougher shots in her sleep could take this burden so she wouldn’t have to. But that’s never been how it works, and she has a job to do.

“Felicity, you don’t have to do this, just let Dig-“ Oliver is looking at her with sympathetic eyes, even though he’s the one that was hurt.

“No.” She just wants to feel a sense of normalcy. She’s used to being the one that does the quick stitches and disinfecting and, on occasion, medication dispensing after a mission. She’s never been a doctor, but she’s learned a lot about field medicine from John and Lyla, and she’s become pretty confident in her abilities.

“Felicity—“ Oliver tries to catch her gaze, but she keeps her focus on the wound in front of her that isn’t as bad as it could have been. He could’ve been the one lying on the floor, bleeding out for no good reason.

“Oliver, I have a needle inches away from your face and I feel like that’s a decent enough reason for you not to argue with me right now.” Oliver pouts quietly this time, only darting his eyes to the crown of her head instead of boring into her hair in hopes she’ll regard him. It’s almost worse.

It’s not like she doesn’t know she’s messed up at this point. She’s fought Ray twice in 24 hours and both wins don’t actually feel like accomplishments. 

Yes, she ran over Isabel Rochev that one time and it felt awesome, but she was also fueled by adrenaline and trying to defend Diggle. Also, she didn’t actually kill the woman, not like she just did with this universe’s Ray. She was attacking the Ray she knows, and it wouldn’t have felt better if it was him lying there, but knowing that they’re fighting across universes and treating people, alternate versions of people they know, like pawns in a game? It’s concerning and sickening and she can’t get the bloodied gargle that came from from Ray’s mouth as he died out of her head.

When she ties off the stitches and covers his chest with a bandage, Oliver stands up, wearily searching for his button-up shirt only to remember it’s covered in his blood and torn across the front. He balls up the fabric and walks off to toss it in the bathroom trash can. He returns with a black t-shirt that doesn’t match his business slacks at all in his hands.

She tries not to look at his chest, but she can’t help herself. She sees a few small marks, probably from long ago, but nothing like the scars covering this Felicity’s body. It’s different being the leader, but she’s doing a great job currently at imitating Oliver by being closed off and snappy because of something she doesn’t really want to talk about.

“It’s not your fault, you know.” Oliver says, pulling the shirt over his head and sidling up next to her as she puts up the medical supplies. “I know you think that it is because he was your friend, but…people change. You did because of the island. I did, even before helping you. You’re not responsible for what he’s become. We all make choices, and he made the wrong one.”

“It’s just…” Felicity sighs, because complicated might not even begin to cover the mess she threw herself into. Will throw herself back into again when she leaves this universe to follow Ray once more.

Oliver, much like he always does, seems to understand without her having to actually elaborate on the issue. He cups her elbow, then looks to her as if asking for permission. She nods, and he wraps an arm around her, half pulling her against his chest.

“Thank you.” She mumbles into his shirt. She tries to take the feeling of warmth with her as she activates her ATOM. She thinks she could keep saving Oliver Queen for a long time on rewards of seeing him again alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the first fight scene in this one was a real challenge. I wanted there to be a specific element of fighting (other than something such as a gun or a physical combat scene) for Felicity to fight with her Arrow skills. The sword reversal I described came from a Youtube video and I only edited it slightly so that she wouldn’t complete the move properly and stab Ray in the process.
> 
> It also took a lot of work to shape these characters into their places for this universe. There was originally a bit where I had Diggle be a little…I won’t say hostile, but more teasing to Oliver about the fact that he’s not a trained fighter. I hinted that Oliver and Felicity’s ‘Arrow reveal’ scene went a little differently in this universe, mostly because I didn’t want this Oliver to be a gender-flipped tech expert. Again, a lot of these worlds may be further explored in their own fics later because I loved expanding into them, but wanted to move our Felicity’s plot along.


	4. Chapter 4

She opens her eyes to see the bright splotch of turquoise that she knows to be her bedroom wall back at her apartment. She’s lying in her own bed, fluffy comforter piled on top of her, glasses clearly off, and she’s not sure what her first step should be.

She fumbles around her nightstand until her hand captures her phone, which is blaring her usual work alarm. There are no new messages, but as she scrolls through her contacts, phone pressed as close to her face as possible, she sees the same familiar names she’s used to.

Felicity takes a deep breath in, exhaling out the nerves teeming through her veins. All universes are different, but many are so similar. So this is the same apartment in this Starling City where this Felicity Smoak lives. 

Maybe in this universe her mother is the one who left. 

Maybe in this universe Sara is the only one to survive the Queen’s Gambit crash alive, and she’s out there, defending the streets as the Black Canary instead of the Arrow.

And maybe, just maybe, she belongs in some kind of special mental institute, because the multiverse is driving her crazy.

She sighs, mushing her face back into her pillow and shoving a hand through the massive tangles in her bed head. She has to go to work.

She stays in her pajamas, shoving her glasses on to start preparing what will likely not be the only cup of coffee she’s set to consume this morning. She sets her laptop on the couch, the hum of the fans as it comes to life a comforting background noise to her morning.

She starts a mental checklist: 1. Use her facial scanning software to locate Ray. 2. Find Oliver and make him aware that Ray is trying to kill him. 3. Find out what this Felicity is actually supposed to be doing while she’s busy hacking away in her apartment and keep up her cover if she can’t find Ray.

The list seems small compared to the tasks she handles leading a team of vigilantes through the streets of Starling every night, but she’ll take what she can get.

A problem arises when her software doesn’t start up. It isn’t even on her computer. There are a few programs she built in when she worked in the IT department at QC for fun, but all of her algorithms to collect resources from the SCPD, ARGUS, and other illegal databases are nowhere to be found. Her personal computers are usually cloaked with security just in case the wrong person actually breaks into her laptop, but she should be able to access anything from her servers at the Foundry with a few keystrokes.

She can re-hack most of them, but it will take time that she needs to spend actually running her programs. More time than she probably has. She curses, slapping the laptop in frustration before wincing at hurting any type of technology at her disposal.

Just as she’s loudly slurping her coffee in anger, a loud, repeated bang sounds on her door. She really hopes that it’s not Ray. Again. Or Oliver, even though they’ve both seen each other pretty beat up, bruised, and half-naked, if she really thinks about it. (She tries not to, considering the last part.)

“Fel-iiiii-ci-ty!” A high pitched melodic whine pierces through the front door, and Felicity starts thinking that anyone would be better than her mother right now.

Sara Lance, dressed in anything but the black leather Felicity has come to expect of the other woman, bursts through her door as if Felicity’s apartment belonged to her all along.

“Felicity, you’re useless. I come here on your day off for girl time and here you are, still in your pajamas and trying to rip your computer apart.” Sara shakes her head, sending her blonde waves into Felicity’s face as she sits on the couch with a put-upon sigh.

Felicity feels a wave of aching sadness erupt within her. In the Bratva universe, she saw Sara, but it wasn’t like this. 

This Sara is all beaming smiles and teasing and so utterly relaxed and _alive_. Felicity just wants to hug her while she’s real. So she does.

Her hair is a mess, her coffee is getting cold, and she’s exhausted, but she’s hugging a woman who’s body she saw on a cold metal table in the Foundry only months before. She thinks for just a few seconds, things are going to be okay.

When Felicity pulls back, face less tear-soaked than she thought it would be, Sara simply raises an eyebrow in question before letting it go when Felicity meekly shrugs in response.

“Up,” Sara prompts, lightly slapping Felicity’s pajama-clad thigh. “I mean it. Go get dressed. I want coffee.”

“I have coffee.” Felicity replies, gesturing to the mug with a pixelated font that states clearly ‘I heart coffee,’ now filled with a completely cold, bitter brew.

“I mean the good coffee that we always pay too much for when we don’t hoard gift cards.” Sara pulls Felicity off the couch by her arms, then physically pushes Felicity into her bedroom. “Wear something cute. It’s finally sunny out and you’d look totally hot in a tank top.”

Felicity shakes her head and strides off too her bedroom. She considers a tank top before thinking about how many different ways Ray could shoot her exposed skin. The thought reminds her of the lasting smell of blood on her hands, the puddle of red leaking through her jacket as she held it to Anna’s wound. She ends up wearing a t-shirt and jeans instead and wishes she had body armor on hand.

“You’re no fun.” Sara pouts, car keys in hand as they leave Felicity’s apartment.

 

xx

 

Felicity lets Sara carry the conversation throughout most of the drive. This Sara is loud and bubbly and everything the pictures Laurel carries around with her depicted her to be when they were younger. There’s something more mature in her too, though, and Felicity has to wonder if the Oliver in this universe had to experience an island without Sara Lance.

Sara talks a lot, and Felicity loves it. Where Felicity stutters and babbles when she’s stressed, Sara’s conversation ebbs and flows naturally, taking up all the empty space Felicity is leaving.

“I love Laurel,” Sara says, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel and taking a swig of her coffee in almost the same breath because the light ahead changes to green. “But at this rate she’s totally gonna turn into one of those bridezillas. I keep expecting a camera crew to show up and film her ‘calm and collected’ break down into ‘frantic and panicking.’”

Sara makes a right, honking at someone that ran a red light just as she was about to turn. “I mean, she’s marrying a billionaire. They’re used to people planning parties for them, but she’s on this whole control-freak kick about doing everything herself. Like Tommy cares! He just keeps saying ‘Whatever she wants.’ which I translate to ‘If she doesn’t get what she wants she’ll hang me with her briefcase no matter how much she loves me.’”

Sara parks outside of Verdant, which looks the same as it apparently always does: A beat up old factory on the outside that’s still branded with the QC name. Yet it’s also a stunning club on the inside, attracting every rich partier in Starling with money to burn.

“You have to be my back-up on this since Merlyn won’t. I could give you signals when I need you to tell her she’s crazy. Maybe we should have code names—“

“Sara,” Felicity interrupts, halting Sara as she starts towards the currently empty club’s bar. “What are we doing here again, exactly?”

“Merlyn was bitching about the wifi in his office when I tried to recruit Laurel into playing hooky this morning. Since you started out as Ollie’s IT expert and I bought our coffee I was hoping you’d work some Felicity magic.” Sara shrugs, strutting up to the bar and getting out ingredients to make something likely disgusting considering it’s not even noon.

Felicity gives Sara a questioning look as she pours a colored liquor into a glass.

“Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear.” Sara recites, shrugging and taking a sip of whatever’s in the glass. “Also, I’m the bartender here, so shut up and go do tech-y things, Smoak.”

Sara says it without malice, so Felicity rolls her eyes at the ribbing and sneaks down to the basement under the guise of seeing where the initial problem might be coming from.

She doesn’t care about the wifi. She cares about finding Ray before he can get to Oliver. Which she would do if, once again, her computers were where they were supposed to be.

Their basement lair looks like an actual storage room. There are dusty boxes piled high and extra chairs scattering the room, and the ceiling is devoid of a certain workout equipment she’s entirely too sentimental about.

She leans against a stack of boxes only for them to topple under her weight, plastic cups spilling out upon the floor with a clatter that makes her physically jump.

“Felicity?” Felicity whips her head around to the sound of her name and almost gets on her knees to pray like the negligent-as-of-late Jewish girl she is. Oliver is here, and he is not dead.

He also looks like the spoiled party boy she saw in a photo on Robert Queen’s desk so many years ago. The shorter, gelled back hair. A sweater that probably cost more than her most expensive pair of heels. No well-groomed scruff. His stance is also strange. She’s seen him comfortable and relaxed, but never to this extent. Much like with Sara, matching this face to the careless ease of who they used to be long ago is jarring.

At least he knows her name. He probably won’t tell her she’s completely crazy for immediately wanting to find a weapon and try to defend them with it. But there are no weapons in the storage space below this club. Just empty plastic cups, like, everywhere. Oops.

“I came down to check the internet, and then…well.” She says, trying to make her breathing go back to normal, less anxious levels.

“Don’t worry about it. For all you keep fixing in this place, you’re allowed to knock a few boxes over in the process. Especially since you won’t let me pay you.” Oliver gives her a smile, like it’s an inside joke.

Felicity simply smiles back and gets to work, diagnosing that the issue with the internet is a frayed wire that probably won’t take too much effort to replace on their part. Oliver cleans up the mess she made while she does it, giving her the opportunity to keep an eye on him. She doesn’t think Ray’s going to charge down to the basement out of nowhere, but she also didn’t expect him to turn his violent efforts onto Oliver in the first place.

She wishes she could lock him in the basement to keep him safe. But even it’s not safe. Ray knows where they are. Who they are. Any of their usual places aren’t safe enough to hide in. Eventually, she’ll have to face Ray again, but she wants to be prepared when she does it. If not here then…

“Oliver,” she starts, enough to get his attention, but not pull him away from his task. “If I asked you to trust me…if I asked you to go somewhere and listen to me, no matter what…” She can’t get it out. It sounds weird even to her ears. She’s just desperate, and there really isn’t much choice.

“Felicity, what’s wrong?” Oliver steps a little closer.

“I can’t tell you. And you can’t tell anyone else either. We have to leave our phones, walk out the back, and say absolutely nothing until we get where we need to go. Can you do that for me?” Felicity sees his uncertainty. Whatever their relationship is, it hasn’t seen the tests of battle. This Oliver and Felicity haven’t fought wars against masked men in the streets of Starling. They haven’t fought metahumans. This Oliver Queen didn’t kill to save her life.

“Felicity—” Oliver starts, then looks to his shoes.

“Please.” She begs, clutching his bicep in her hand.

Thankfully, he nods, turning his phone off and placing it in her palm. She tosses her own phone onto a table with his and leads him out the back door.

 

xx

 

The ARGUS safe house is just as is was in her universe. The system doesn’t accept the code Oliver told her long ago, but her attempt to pry the keypad open and force the lock does. She hopes that ARGUS either won’t notice, or that it will take them a few hours to find her so that they can ask her how the hell she learned to do that.

“Felicity, what is this place?” Oliver asks, staring at the molding brick around them. There are electric lanterns giving the room some light, but an echoing drip from the exposed pipes is the only thing filling the silence between them.

She decides to go for some semblance of the truth, pacing as she speaks. “It’s an ARGUS safe house. A back up facility that I shouldn’t have access to, probably.”

“And what is ARGUS?” Oliver tilts his head much like she imagines she’s done every time since the first universe. Trying to fit new information with the person that she’s already known.

“Let’s just say…it’s a secret organization that does bad things to bad people.” She rubs her hand against her temple. Is this what it’s like for the Oliver of her universe to half-ass explain things to them? How do they ever get anything done when all they do is beat around the bush?

“How do you know them?” Oliver questions, awkwardly looking around the room. She remembers finding him here not so long ago and calling it a safe haven. This Oliver is probably debating whether sitting on the damp floors is worth ruining his $200 pants.

She sighs. “Let’s just say, for right now, neither of us are who we should be.” She looks down at him, throwing his hands in the air like a petulant child and sitting on the floor with a scowl. But he came here. He still trusted her when he didn’t have to. 

She sits down next to him, her tablet setting up perimeter alarms for the building and searching for Ray in her lap. “You look so young like this. Ready to take on the world with a jaunty grin. Getting you to smile is usually hard enough. I never got to meet Ollie Queen. You always said I’d never want to, but I think there’s something to him all the same.” She gently bumps his shoulder with her own.

He doesn’t understand what she’s talking about, but he still replies. “You always refused to call me Ollie. Since the day I walked into your office and asked you to help me with the club’s sound system. Sounds weird.”

She shrugs. “Sounds like me. It’s because you’re more than that. Ollie Queen gets written up by the tabloids, gets into trouble, and pretends the world has no consequences. The Oliver Queen I know is stubborn and broody and sometimes a pain…but he also protects the people he loves and has a sense of purpose that makes him take the entire world on his shoulders.”

“Seems like a great guy.” Oliver replies, locking his gaze to his lap.

“Sometimes. Like when he trusts in me without a doubt. He just looks at me and I look at him, and it’s like we’re communicating our life stories without saying a word.” She smirks, hoping he’ll get her point. That she appreciates that he’s here, no matter what he knows and what he hopefully never will.

He looks up and nods, his mouth turning up slightly at the corners. Then his brow furrows. “What’s that?”

The ATOM is glowing around her neck, but rather than its usual pulses, it’s a fast, rapid blinking that she’s never seen before. She knows what it means: someone else has entered the world with the other ATOM. It’s just that she’s been doing the following with Ray this entire time, so she never _expected_ to see it. “Someone else followed us.”

“Here? So there really is someone after us?” Oliver asks, vocal pitch rising.

“What, did you think I was kidding? It’s not him, thankfully. It’s…someone else. I don’t know who though, because no one knows how to use the ATOMs but Ray and I—“

“Felicity?” Oliver interrupts, grabbing her arm and ripping her gaze away from the pendant around her neck.

She looks at his face. The way his eyes are moving frantically, taking her in bit by bit. How his muscles are suddenly tense, like he’s preparing for an attack. Then they trail down to the chain on his neck. “Oliver? As in, my Oliver? Not _mine_ , mine but from where I’m from, as in-“

She’s silenced by bring dragged into a crushing hug, Oliver’s arms awkwardly encircling her upper body from their position on the floor. She returns the hug happily because finally her partner, the one she’s been working with for 3 years, is by her side, albeit in the wrong universe.

“We thought you were dead.” He says pulling away, still tightly gripping her arms as if she’ll slip away from his grasp.

“No…No! I had to stop Ray. He’s wreaking havoc on these other universes. The ATOM was the only way to go after him. I didn’t have any time to wait,” He doesn’t look as mad as she thought he would be, but he’s right. She made them worry because she left without a word. They barely understood the technology she was working on with Ray. How could they have known where they disappeared to? “I’m sorry.”

“It’s…” Oliver clearly doesn’t think it’s okay, but he eyes the tablet in her lap and seems to focus his anger on the enemy at hand. “We can talk about it later. The important thing is getting Ray out of this world and making sure he never comes back.”

“The only problem with that is I’m not sure how. I’ve tried following him, clearly. I tried…killing him. I know a way to force his ATOM to return home, but I’d have to get close enough to activate it. Then we’d have to catch him to make sure he didn’t travel away again after the emergency lockdown wears off. It’s not like with Slade. I made the device. He knows my skills.” She rakes her fingers through her ponytail.

“What about me?” Oliver asks, standing up from the floor and helping her as well.

“What about you?” Felicity replies incredulously. She feels the self-sacrificing nobility come off him in waves.

“He doesn’t know who followed you from home.“ Oliver takes the tablet from her hand, watching the dot that has finally located Ray scroll across the screen.

“No. If I can’t go off and make you think I’m dead, you sure as hell can’t sacrifice yourself and actually die.” Felicity snatches the tablet back and glares.

“You said yourself that killing him doesn’t work. So he can’t really kill me, Felicity. Besides, he barely knows what he’s doing! I’ve faced tougher men with more to fight for than a wife in another universe.”

“Well he’s been trying pretty damn hard! He blames us for Anna’s death. He’s promised to slaughter every you that’s ever existed. I am not letting that happen.”

“Felicity—“

“Oliver, these people matter. We aren’t going around in places that have no consequences just because we leave alive. When people die here, they’re dead here forever. We can’t take Ray’s actions back. I can’t take my actions back. I’ve been able to protect you in every universe before this and I’m not stopping just because you think this life is worth it. It never should be.” She feels her eyes water, but she won’t let tears fall. In another universe, Anna was still killed in the street by the Triad. Ray died in a clock tower because the Arrow saved Oliver Queen. 

The deaths stop now.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Oliver asks, the fight slightly draining out of him with a huff of his breath.

“We’re going back to Verdant to find another way. If we have to, maybe we can recruit everyone else to help us.”

 

xx

 

They sneak back into the basement through the back entrance, Felicity taking the time to recollect their phones from where she left them and make them untraceable while Oliver looks around.

“What happened here?” He asks, stopping in front of a pile of boxes where the clear glass case containing his suit should be. Would be, if they were back home.

“Nothing, as far as I can tell. There just aren’t any vigilantes in this universe. Well, in my social circle, anyways. Which is weird, because in our universe I run into them before they even become superheroes.”

Oliver makes a noise of annoyance, much like an anxious cat might when placed into a new environment. Although she’ll probably never tell him that she made that simile.

They sit in a strained silence, Felicity’s thoughts on her work, Oliver’s likely on adjusting to his first alternate universe. 

Then a familiar voice booms down the stairs. “Ollie, do you know where the last shipment of Grey Goose went? Rich party boys pay out the ass for it and—“ Sara stops, staring at Oliver’s casual lean on the table she’s working on. “Hey Felicity. I hadn’t heard from you in so long I thought you’d skipped out.”

She rips her attention away from the phones to regard Sara when a quiet “Sara?” comes from Oliver next to her.

“Yeah?” Sara replies, crossing her arms when Oliver doesn’t elaborate. “Ollie, what is it, do I have something on my face?”

“No, it’s just…Felicity didn’t mention to me that you were _here_.”

Sara rolls her eyes. “Oh, you miss one night because you were with your girlfriend and suddenly you’re never going to show up before a shift to set up. I see how it is. Don’t call me when you finally wisen up and Felicity keeps _you_ up all night, Mr. Manager.”

Felicity’s face reddens and she almost drops the phone in her hand. “Sara!” In those other universes, she’d been with Oliver, sure, but it felt very different when he was standing right next to her. Those Olivers didn’t shut her out and make a decision about their relationship before it even started.

“Yeah, yeah, you guys aren’t together and don’t make googly-eyes all day. I’ll just go back to being visually impaired. Come see me when you’re done doing whatever it is that doesn’t look like fixing the wifi.” Sara shakes her head as she makes a noisy exit up the stairs.

Oliver swings his head around to watch her go. “How is she alive? What is she talking about?”

“Every universe is different, Oliver. This is your first. This is my fourth. It surprised me to see her alive too.”

“I haven’t seen her like that since we were teenagers. Before we…were together, I’d been with Laurel for a while. I knew Sara had a crush on me so I used to flirt with her, make her laugh. I was an idiot, cheating like I did, but I still miss who she was before I took her on that boat.”

“Oliver…” She tries to touch him, but he runs his hand over his hair and backs away, not for the first time, as if he’s running from her comfort.

“It’s okay. I’ll adjust. We won’t be here long anyways, right?”

“Right.” She nods.

 

xx

 

“So, can you find him?” Oliver asks, sitting next to her in a booth. They’ve moved upstairs into the club, him watching over her shoulder as she types away on a laptop from his club’s office.

“I could a lot faster if you would stop asking me that every five minutes.” She says dryly, fixing him with an unamused gaze.

“I’ve seen you do this in less time.”

“That was when I had our resources. I had already open back doors and programs I wasn’t having to build from scratch!”

Oliver stands, pacing what is usually the dance floor. “I know Felicity, but according to you we don’t have a lot of time before—“

“Now, what’s this? A lover’s quarrel between my best friend and one of the only computer geniuses I know that can rock a pair of heels?” Felicity and Oliver both go still. Tommy Merlyn, alive and well, is wrapping an arm around Oliver’s shoulder. “You should know better than to fight with her, buddy, she always beats you.”

“Tommy, you’re—“ Oliver starts, but Felicity interrupts him, knowing he was about to finish that with the word _alive_. “Here! Sara said you’d been so busy with planning your wedding I didn’t think you’d be around. Or, more accurately, letting Laurel do all the planning, which I think is a mistake, I mean, just ask Sara. She’s really pissed at you, by the way, which is why you should go talk to her about it. Like, right now.“

“Okay, Smoak, I get it, you two are having a moment. When are you not? I’ll catch up with you later, man.” Tommy smacks Oliver’s shoulder before sauntering up to the bar, where Sara is waiting to tear into him.

Oliver looks at her on the verge of tears. “How could you not tell me he was here?”

“Because I didn’t want him here. If Ray comes around, do you really want him in the line of fire?”

“…No. Still—” A beep from her laptop distracts her from the argument.

“Oh, frack.” Felicity says, showing Oliver the screen. “We may have to come with a better plan. Ray’s—“ Two gunshots ring out through the club before the door comes crashing in, hinges blown off, with Ray behind it.

None of them have training. They aren’t ready for an enemy Oliver swears he can take care of in one confrontation. She watches Oliver tense beside her, moving her body behind his with a light touch before running to tackle Ray to the ground as he runs in.

He does so successfully, but the move lacks his usual grace. Oliver still has his skill, but his body isn’t as honed to fight as it usually is. Ray flips Oliver on his back, punching wildly at Oliver’s face. Oliver keeps his arms up in a simple guard, but hand to hand combat is only part of Oliver’s usual fighting style.

Her eyes scan the bar for something to help Oliver with. She grabs the closest glass and throws it at Ray’s back, causing him to arc away from Oliver in pain and create a chance for escape. Oliver rolls a few paces away from Ray, but she can see in his frustration that his recovery isn’t as quick as he wishes it was. 

There’s glass debris littering the floor, and within it, a metal pole from the door Ray shot in. She shakes the glass off the pole and shouts Oliver’s name before coming closer and throwing it his way. He catches it with ease and spins it like he and Dig often do on the mats in the basement.

Ray charges regardless, and takes a good hit to the jaw for his trouble. Oliver goes to swipe Ray’s feet out from under him, but Ray stumbles back, rubbing his jaw and digging in his jacket.

Ray pulls out a revolver, pulling back the hammer and cocking it at Oliver. “You may have some skills Queen, but Felicity knows that Anna means more to me than your life no matter which universe’s one it is.”

“She’s never coming back!” Oliver yells, fingers clearly itching for his bow. “Just like my parents never will. Just like all the people that have died in the Undertaking never will. No matter what universe you go to, she’ll never be that same person you loved.”

“What do you know about that? Every single time Felicity has _you_. She’s surrounded by _you_. She sees her friends and family and I have nothing. When I do, Anna’s taken from me. I think it’s time someone else experienced some loss around here!” Ray brings the gun up, but Felicity brings her arm around Ray’s neck, unbalancing his weight and pulling him down to the floor. A gunshot echoes out, the bullet hitting the roof as he loses his grip on the trigger and hammer.

The floor’s impact loosens her grip, allowing Ray to spin around and pin her to the floor. Her right arm, however, is free. Felicity sees the golden chain hanging half way out of Ray’s shirt and grabs it. The chain doesn’t break, allowing her to hold it as Ray attempts to escape her grip and giving her the time to program the home universe reset.

In the scuffle, she hears the gun cock again before releasing a shot into her stomach. Ray curses, prepared to shoot again and finish the job, but Oliver drags him back by his collar, throwing him to the ground before knocking him out cold with a punch. Ray should be headed back to their universe, and they need to follow.

Oliver grabs her hand, now covered in the blood coming from her wound as he tries to apply pressure. His eyes are panicked, and she can hear the faint repetition of the word “No” under his breath.

“I’ll be okay, remember?” She hitches mid-sentence, the pain from the wound telling her just how dire things are looking for this universe’s Felicity when she leaves. She promised the deaths would stop. She doesn’t know how she didn’t consider her own.

He grabs her hand a little tighter, pushing his other hand to the wound like a clamp around her waist. His eyes seem glazed over, watching her bleed out all over the floor of Verdant, but he regains his composure and forcefully wraps their connected hands around her ATOM. “Get out of here.”

It makes sense. They need to catch Ray. The wound is making her woozy though, and the feeling of Oliver holding her up is comforting around her. She could slip into the jump, just like Ray did when she shot him.

“What about you?” She mumbles.

“I’ll be right behind you. There’s something I have to do first.” Oliver squeezes her hand and she thinks he’s starting to understand that these universes and the people in them matter. Losing someone that looks and acts just like someone you care about hurts just as much. You wanted to know them. You want to know them, no matter how different, no matter how similar, every time.

She does the same reset she did on Ray, hoping Oliver remembers what she taught him before they left the ARGUS warehouse. They both need to make it home from this.

As she feels herself leaving this universe’s Felicity, she catches the tail end of a whisper in her ear. “-you. Every you. Okay? So you need to hold on for me, Fel-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually the only chapter I added more to after deeming the story "finished." Reason being almost immediately after Oliver from Universe 1 arrived, I had the final confrontation. I wanted to give Oliver more of a chance to react to the new universe, even though what I did add is still pretty short. 
> 
> I can't believe that the last chapter is up next! I feel like I've been writing this story so long and having it almost wrapped up is both exciting and a little sad.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, but hopefully not the end! I have a small Oliver POV drabble coming out soon, and I’m hoping I get to re-visit some of the universes I’ve created at some point or another.

She appears in her office instead of in Verdant, where she was hoping to be. At the club they might’ve been able to trap Ray the second he showed up. Now his device will be locked down for the next 24 hours until the emergency reset wears off.

“Speaking of emergencies…” She mumbles to herself, hearing the blaring alarm coming from her computer’s speakers.

On the monitor, a Stage 5 security alert from their Applied Sciences division has been tripped. Someone stole one of their works in progress. She groans when she realizes which one.

They had been designing a suit to go with the ATOM devices. An Exosuit which would protect the wearer from any side-effects of going to unknown universes. Even though she now knows that you bring nothing but the ATOM with you in universe travel because you inhabit your other self’s body, at the time it was a supposedly theoretical concept, only in the very early testing stages according to her last filed report with Ray.

Ray, the consistent liar he’s proving himself to be, has obviously been keeping his work on the suit under wraps, according to the tracking chip that’s recording his _flight_ across Starling City.

She has no idea where he’s going, but she’s half-jogging in heels to get to her car and drive to the Arrow Cave to start working some technical magic regardless.

 

xx

 

She arrives at the lair trying not to fall down the stairs. She’s surrounded by Diggle and Roy as soon as her shoes touch the floor. She expects some verbal barraging, considering Oliver’s reaction only a universe back, but they seem to hold it in momentarily to hug her. They’re both prepared to mobilize, likely a result of trying to find her for who knows how long and any information Oliver has had time to give them. 

Walking farther into the basement, she sees Oliver, almost soldier-like in the way he turns to her to find a place to direct his anger. He addresses her with a simple nod before letting her bring up Ray’s coordinates. His blue dot is still circling the city, but she’s unsure if that’s because he’s adjusting to the suit or he’s simply biding his time until his ATOM’s next reset.

Felicity sighs, bringing up the blueprints from Palmer Technologies as she speaks. “So, from all appearances, Ray has the upper hand. While I helped develop the basic blueprints with Ray, he’s been making modifications on his own. I don’t know what features he’s made, but I do know that he’s added some weapon capabilities. They were originally non-lethal ways to keep hostiles away from the user in other universes, but he went from passive to aggressive too many universes ago. He can also fly, which I never considered a disadvantage until now, despite the fact that all we use around here are bows and arrows…”

“You said from all appearances. I hope this means you have different plan?” Diggle asks, crossing his arms and leaning on her desk.

Felicity spins in her chair, arms braced on the rests, back straight. “Ray and I were friends not that long ago. I worked with him and believed in both him and the work we were doing. I didn’t see what he was doing all that time, right in front of my face, and that was a mistake.”

Oliver tries to interrupt her, probably to tell her it’s not her fault. She’s still wrestling with the blame to whom this incident falls, so she barrels on through his quiet “Felicity—“

Instead, her pitch rises. “Ray, however, made an even bigger mistake. He didn’t trust me. It turns out that I’m pretty damn impressive. I helped design and create a device that bridges the gaps between universes. I created my own facial recognition database by hacking some of the biggest powerhouses in our government. It also just so happens that wirelessly taking out an Exosuit is in my wheelhouse.”

Her small smirk becomes infectious among them. She’s glad to be home.

 

xx

 

“We’re in position.” Oliver says, synthesized voice surprisingly comforting in her ear.

“Target will be heading your way in 5, 4, 3, 2…1! Now!” She watches Ray on a straight path towards the roof she and Dig are standing on. 

He makes a motion as if to direct himself away from them, but then a bullet lodges into an area on the suit’s hip, causing sparks and smoke to fly from the suit. Ray barely makes a landing, tucking and rolling himself to the rooftop. John pulls his Barrett sniper rifle up from his perch and replaces it with a Glock, threatening Ray and defending her at the same time.

Ray rises from the ground slowly as his suit starts to regain power on its own. He brings up his arm, shooting a pulse of blue electricity in their general direction. Diggle tackles her left, the beam of energy almost grazing his shoulder.

Ray begins to lock his shot again as his power seems to return, but Oliver and Roy swing down on wires, crackling with electricity as powerful as Ray's attacks, jamming them into the now cracked power source and backing away from the sparks.

Ray chuckles, using his jets to hover off the ground. “You just boosted my power core back to full. Thanks for that. You shouldn’t get your superhero friends to help you, Felicity. They can’t do anything ri—“

Ray’s suit flashes on and off and he crashes into the rooftop once more, this time cracking the stone from the force of the impact.

“They did exactly what I told them to. I think you’ve forgotten that I helped you design this suit. You used me to help you find your wife, but you forgot that I didn't get my degree or help the Arrow by twiddling my thumbs. If _someone_ had access to Palmer Tech’s servers and _someone_ got into the suit’s code by, I don’t know, directly inserting a virus that would give them total control of said suit, they could create a metal prison for the wearer. If you didn’t note the sarcasm or the crazy has completely blocked your brain, that someone was me.”

“I’m not crazy, Felicity. I had to find her again, and I still will,” Ray turns to Oliver. “You might as well kill me. I know your secret. And trust me when I say that wherever you put me will not be far enough to keep me away from finding my way out of this universe again!”

Oliver doesn’t answer. Instead, he looks to Felicity. She nods, and he gags Palmer with a piece of cloth.

Felicity answers instead. “Just because we’re vigilantes doesn’t mean we’re murderers. You didn’t have to be either. It’s too late to save the people in the other universes, but I can make sure you never return to another one.” 

She takes the ATOM pendant from around his neck, looking at it reverently. It all started out like many disasters do: with a scientific endeavor gone wrong. She tones down the feeling of sadness at destroying it, instead remembering all the trouble they caused in the other universes. 

It’s better this way. It’s safer this way, for everyone.

Felicity pops the pendant open, dropping the tiny contents upon the ground. She smashes them with her heel to the tune of Ray’s muffled screams.

 

xx

 

“It’s later.” Oliver states, dropping down next to her on the roof to look out at Starling’s skyline, just visible in the sunlight of the early morning.

“Hm?” She’s barely holding herself together, wondering when her eyes will finally be able to fall closed without worry that she’ll appear somewhere else.

“In that other world. I told you we’d talk about you leaving us without warning later. Ray Palmer is going to some empty cell with no technology, even though it seems he can’t even do technology very well without you,” Oliver leans over slightly, bumping her shoulder in jest. The teasing smile sits well on his face. “I feel like it’s later.”

She feels what joy there was at saving the universes evaporate, replaced by a murky haze of regret and indignation that he’ll probably tell her not to do exactly what he would’ve done. “I know you were all afraid. I know I was. I’ve seen this city from the eyes of too many people. Too many versions of us. But I can’t tell you I wouldn’t do it again. You saw who he became, Oliver, I couldn’t-“

“It’s not about him, Felicity. What you did was something to be proud of. As much as I worry about your safety, I try to not let it get in the way of the justice we’ve been trying to serve in this city.”

“You’re not very good at letting things go, just so you know,” She tries to break the tense environment because it feels like…something. It’s a flip in her stomach and the chill of the wind against her shoulders. He’s not bringing it up for nothing. “I appreciate that you’re trying, though.”

Oliver doesn’t respond for a moment, and she can see him trying to create the right phrase, mentally weighing his options back and forth. “What Ray said, about us being together in the other universes. I felt it.”

“What do you mean?” She didn’t experience any kind of physical pull towards Oliver where she went. It wasn’t ever something she had to feel. It just…was.

“When you—she was dying in my arms. I didn’t even know her except for her face. Just seconds before it was one of my best friends in the world, and then she was looking at me with tears in her eyes, crying in pain, her blood on my hands,” Oliver stops himself as if trying to back down from a mental ledge. “But I looked at her and felt everything I felt—that I _feel_ for you. I felt like I was letting her down, as her partner, as her friend. All I wanted to do was protect her and it was like losing you, this you, every you, all at once.”

Felicity grabs his hand, lacing their fingers tightly. Maybe she does know. The pit of dread in her stomach when Ray cut into the other Oliver’s skin. Adjusting to every new them thrown her way like a second skin. How everything was difficult and frustrating, but it also never could be, because she had her partner. Hadn’t that feeling always been there?

Then she feels her stomach flip again because it can never be that simple. Of course they both have feelings, but she’s resolved to not wait around for him, and she meant it. She can comfort him, mostly because she’s the only person who can relate to that feeling, but she deserves to be happy. If he won’t chose to be happy instead of digging his own grave in a standstill, then she will. “Oliver, this always leads back to the same thing. Let’s just skip it this time. I miss being your friend too much to have you keep cutting me open when you say things like that and then push me away.”

Oliver focuses his full attention away from the sunrise now, clasping her hand so tight she worries it might go numb. “I’m still trying to figure out who I am right now. I know that’s not an excuse and I’m not trying to make it one. It’s just the truth. What I do know is that after all this, I want to be all of those things that I felt in that moment for you. Your friend, your partner, the person you trust the most. Because you’re that for me. I love you, and I’m tired of taking it back because I’m scared for you. Scared of what’s coming. I know that it’s better having you in my life than not, and I want it. I want everything with you.”

She feels tears in her eyes along with the seed of distrust buried deep in her long ago by a man who left and never came home one day. “You can say all of those things, Oliver. You can want and wish and hope, but at the end of this you know it’s going to take more than talk. Our lives are crazy and filled with universe travel and metahumans! It’s going to be hard and painful and I’m not letting you quit one day when you decide my safety means more to you than yours does to me.”

She looks at his eyes and sees the silent disagreement that her life does in fact mean more, but she gives a silent shake of her head that is the equivalent of putting her foot down.

Felicity also notices the way his arm has crawled lightly around her waist, the way her hand grips his arm. 

Then, all at once, their lips come together. 

After that, it’s all sensations. His arm pulling her closer, her arm hooking around his neck, a gentle bite to her lip that makes her sudden grip on his jacket tighten. The feeling of falling, breathless and weightless. The feeling of drowning, the city around them an echo accompanied by a pounding in her ears that matches Oliver’s heartbeat.

Then she is falling, literally, but on his chest. The sunlight getting brighter reminds her of where they are. 5 stories in the air, precariously making out on the edge of a deadly drop.

“What a way to go, though.” She blurts out, trying to get her weight off of him by positioning her arms off his chest.

He laughs, a full-bodied thing that warms her all the way to her core, before bringing her back down to his mouth once more.

When his smile dims, the golden sunlight behind her casts on his face, as well as some shadow of her own. “I’m going to do better. After seeing Tommy in that world…I want to honor him by living my life. He seemed happy, seeing us together. I’m committed to this, to being with you, but…” He gives a half shrug beneath her, and she understands.

“You’re a broody vigilante that’s going through a lot of things right now. This is new, and that’s okay. I just don’t want you to shut me out. To shut the team out. We’re here for you, Oliver, just like you are for us. Ra’s al Ghul is cunning and cruel, but together is how our team has always worked best, even when it was just me, you, and Dig.”

Oliver nods, then smiles at her expectantly. She scrambles to get off him, which is silly considering they were making out less than 5 minutes ago. “We better go. I think wearing all green leather in the daylight is a vigilante identity faux pas.”

He pulls himself up, then wraps his arm around her shoulder, guiding her down the stairs to where the van and the 2 motorcycles were once parked. All that remains is his Ducati. She looks at him, smiling deceptively, then at the machine. “You can’t be serious!”

“Now you have an excuse to hold on tight.” He says, throwing a bulky helmet into her arms and throwing his leg over the machine.

Felicity rolls her eyes and points a decisive finger at him. “You go a mile over the speed limit and I duck and roll as far away from you as possible, got it? I learned a few badass Arrow-related things after a universe or two.”

He pauses, considering her before the corner of his mouth raises in a half-smile. “You would look pretty nice in the lea-“

“Oliver, if your definition of ‘doing better’ is being a shameless flirt we’re going to have a long journey ahead of us.”

Oliver shrugs, revving the engine and fitting her arms around his waist tightly. “Wouldn’t be the first one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe it’s done! Thanks so much to everyone that’s been reading. It was a great experience to write, and there will probably be a fic-shaped hole in my life for a while in its place.
> 
> I’m gonna be honest, this finale was mostly prompted by Ray’s behavior in 3x17. He was very haughty about figuring out who Team Arrow were when he used Felicity’s software to ID Oliver and she helped design many key parts of the ATOM suit. It’s showcased many times that he couldn’t have done a lot of his ‘heroing’ without her help, and I wanted to emphasize how easy it would probably be to take out the ATOM suit without all of Felicity's help.
> 
> Also, apparently I agree with the writers/cinematographers when I picture really cute Olicity scenes bathed in sunlight.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that’s bookmarked, given kudos, subscribed, and commented. It's been so awesome to see people enjoying the story after I’ve worked on it for months.


End file.
